Dizzle Vizzle in da Hizzle, Y'all.

Imagine the neurons in your brain that fire up with electricity when your brain makes connections and is working very fast cause a bright flash of light. Now picture the non-stop fireworks grand finale going on inside of my head as I was sitting in the theater watching Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Let's go even further. Pretend every flash of light, every wattage of brain activity travelling through my neurons, created the sensation of a full-blown orgasm to the tenth power. Yup. I was feeling that too. Everywhere.

Being the tremendous Star Wars fanatic that I am, I had a suspicion that this movie could not have gone wrong for me. I knew how the story was going to go, because I've already seen the sequel to this film somewhere in the range of 250-300 times. I knew which characters were going to live, which characters were going to die, etc. Some might say the movie was ruined for me already, but to these some, I say nay. I wanted to see these events transpire, I wanted to know how some of things happened that I knew would happen. In fact, my life may have been a long torturous existence filled with despair if I did not see this closing chapter that transitioned into one of the greatest movie trilogy's I've ever known.

Unfortunately, no movie is ever perfect. Neither was this one.

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WARNING: SPOILERS
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The Wookies.

I was flipping out when I first heard the Jedi Council just mention Kashyyyk. When I saw the first Wookie we all see, Tarfful, boarding a ship with Yoda, I almost crapped my pants. Then the battle on Kashyyyk, with the Wookies fighting alongside the Clone Army against the Seperatist's Droid Army, I was close to tears. We saw some Wookies being badass, some shots fired, and then BANG. Cut to next scene. I was so totally blue-ballsed with the Wookies. I wanted more badass Wookie action, and I didn't get to see it. I wanted them to be badder than bad, and it just didn't happen.

Chewbacca.

SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THIS MOVIE. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to see him. He was standing around with Tarfful, looking important. It was cool to see him give Yoda a piggy-back ride. It was cool to hear Yoda say his name. But that summed up his involvment with this film. He was pointless. Wait, nevermind. His point was to make me ask "Hold on, if Chewbacca is an important part of Wookie Government or something, then how does he meet up with Han Solo in the very-near-future and decide to start illegally smuggling things across the galaxy with him?" George just wanted him to make people happy to see him and little else. Totally pointless to me.

Yoda.

I was pleased Lucas's choice to turn Yoda from comic relief into wise mentor in the first trilogy, then to complete badass Jedi in the newer movies. He's a totally awesome character, and he knocked two of the Emperor's Elite Guards unconscious just by shrugging. But Goddammit Lucas, does he have to say every goddamn thing backwards? Watch Empire again. No, no he doesn't. His dialogue just got fucking ridiculous in this film. And you would think the fight between the Galaxy's two most powerful users of the Force would have lasted a bit longer. It was still mad impressive though.

Mace Windu.

Mace Windu is played Samuel L. Jackson. That has to tell you something right there. Samuel L. Jackson requested to have his character's lightsaber be purple. There's something else right there too. Mace Windu is second in command of the Jedi Order, under Yoda. With all this in mind, it's pretty obvious that Mace Windu must be one ill Jedi motherfucker. Given, he was going up against the Dark Lord of the Sith, but still...with three other Jedi, I was in high hopes of an amazingly cool battle royal. I wanted more, once again. Come on! He's Sammy LJ! Let him at least put up a fight.

General Grievous.

I was very impressed with this villian. Dooku was old, and while kinda creepy, still unintimidating. Maul was pretty badass, but he was also in Episode I and that dragged him down. They got it right with Grievous. A hunched cyborg with a cape and a bad cough that is the General of the Droid Army, has badass droid bodyguards, and likes to kill Jedi. He also has four arms, wields four lightsabers and is scarier than Darth Vader. He almost killed Obi-wan. He was pretty fucking cool.

Padme Amidala.

Why does she always have to dress weird? Did you see what she was wearing in bed with Anakin? Did you see what she was wearing while she was pregnant? Natalie, honey, I love you, but what exactly was going on there? She looked prettiest when she was dead.

Darth Vader.

He was only suited for a brief amount of the movie, but I think something could have been better. His whole Frankenstein-walk-screaming-"Noooo!" thing would have been much cooler if he didn't do it at all. If I were George Lucas, and I wish I was about once a day, I would have just made him ask about Padme, and in response, not say anything. Just crush everything around him with the Force and kill all the droids and people around him. When I saw the first movies, it was my understanding that everything human and moral in Vader had been destroyed by the Dark Side, that is, until Luke cries like a girl and changes his mind. When he screamed like that, it ruined the dark, silent, cold killer I knew Vader was going to be.

Anakin Skywalker vs. Obi-wan Kenobi.

Loved it. Every second of it. Want to see it again. Now.

I loved this movie. It was spectacular. The cinematography, the choreography, the plot development. It blew me away. These were just a couple of things that jerked my disbelief out of suspension, along with the dialogue, but I wasn't expecting too much there.
My friends and I drove two hours to get to the theater, bought our tickets and waited four hours till the clock struck 12:01 and it began. It was damn worth it, believe you me.

I'm going to see it again. No doubt about it.